Foreigner Photo Op

Sometimes Korea gives me free stuff because I'm white.

The first time I was offered something for free was in a coffee shop in Daejeon.  Dralle and I had just finished our espressos when the barista came over, pointed at our empty shot glasses, and said, "Serviss-uh?".  We of course had no idea what she meant, so she got her friend who was supposed to know more English and had her translate.  Her friend said basically the same thing, "You want this.......serviss-uh?".  Turns out they were trying to say "service".

Tangent:

A Konglish word is an English word that has been translated phonetically into Korean, but whose meaning has strayed from that of the original.  "Service" is Konglish for "free".  Some other mistranslations are:

샤프 (sharp) - A mechanical pencil

원 플러스 원 (one plus one) - A buy-one-get-one-free sale.

쌤쌤 (same same) - Two things are exactly the same.

Konglish is prolific in Korea and can be pretty freaking weird.

I get "service" things all the time; beers, pretzels, waffles, coffees, soups and street snacks.

We're celebrities in a monoculture society.  I used to feel self conscious every time I went outside, but I've found it can actually be liberating to be stared at the whole time.  If you know there's always somebody watching, then it eventually becomes the norm and you stop caring entirely.  We stand out.  We're not normal.  We're freaks.

You should see me go for a run.  I'm a white Moses parting a sea of Koreans.  Children shout "Nice to meet you!" from city bus windows.  Schoolgirls loose their cool.  Boys line up for high-fives.

I've gone through several stages of acceptance of this fame.  At first I thought it was interesting.  Then I found it annoying.  Eventually I got upset that the only reason I'm treated so well is because of the color of my skin.  These people don't know anything about me, but they treat me like a king.  It's racism of a sort, and while it's not negative, it is certainly dehumanizing.  I eventually decided I can't really do anything about it and started accepting free things again.

This past Saturday 25 foreigners from Mokpo got the biggest "service" yet; a day long coach bus tour.

The island of Wando was hosting "The 1st World Slow Walking Festival" (yeah, that's right) and was televising the whole event.  From what we were able to piece together, Wando wanted to pass this off as an international affair, and so paid to have foreigners shipped from all over the country to attend.  

Stranger than shipping in a bunch of foreigners for National TV is the fact that they asked us not to tell anybody that the trip was free.  If anybody asked, we were to say that we paid 30,000 won for the tour.  Then they made us sign a form saying that we had already paid a bunch of money.  It was sketchy.

The bus took us first to a free lunch at a restaurant, then to the festival where we were given reserved seats.  The fest started off with some African drummers and dancers which was pretty phenomenal, as world music is unheard of in Korea.  Then there were a lot of speeches.  There was an English translator on stage, which made it bearable and actually pretty awesome at points.  The best translations of the day were: 

"We hope all who come to Wando will catch the happy virus" 

and 

"Wando is the Mecca of slow city"

We had been told we were going to a "Slow Walking Competition", which sounded intriguing, but this turned out not to be the case.  At first I was oddly disappointed (although we all had some interesting theories about how that kind of competition might work) then as the intentions of the festival were explained a little further, things became a bit more clear.  The message of the festival seemed to be:  The world is getting too hectic and crazy.  Nobody just goes for a stroll anymore, but strolls really are nice, aren't they?

A strange reason to have a festival for sure, but something I could really get behind.  

I got super excited as the interpreter said, "Now lets look at some pictures from the trip on the Camino de Santiago".  They showed this one picture....

...and then moved on to something else.  I never really figured out what that was all about.

When the speeches were over, we got rebellious and went for a rather average speed walk down the beach.  Then I jumped in some flowers.  

Then we were taken back in the tour bus to the most southern point in mainland Korea, 땅끝 (T'angk'eutt) or "Land's End", Korea's version of Finesterre,  for a free monorail ride and some killer photos.

Finally we were taken out for a free dinner, and eventually made it back to Mokpo around 9:30, just in time to make it to P Club, a local foreigner bar, where I played some tunes with the 50's band and bid our drummer farewell.

It was a busy day.